Many times on the RHA forum I have offered and subsequently shipped both plants and pollen to other RHA folk. Most times, people are very good about acknowledging the donations. However, there have been instances where neither thanks, nor notification of receipt of the donations has been offered by the recipient. Perhaps it’s a difference in communication styles, or whatever, but I was taught that it was bad manners not to show appreciation for something shared.
So, if you request pollen or plants here on the forum, and I send you the requested materials, then please at least tell me that you received them! Thanks.
Thank-you Paul, just for being sensitive and honest enough to post this message. Unfortunately, the people most in need of taking note here, in all probability will not believe it is about them. It requires a certain amount of civility and sensitivity to recognize the need to acknowledge and be acknowledged. I try to respond to all shares with gratitude, because I am grateful for having received plants, cuttings, pollen and anything that has allowed me to pursue this game, at the same time making it more rewarding. However, I may have been one of those who hasn’t said thank-you on occasion, so to those who have shared even their know how on this forum, thank-you. And to Paul and Kim, who are probably the most generous people on this forum, a special thank-you.
Thanks to all who have posted comments. I can say without hesitation that all of the above have been very courteous and prompt in acknowledging donations, so my remarks are not directed to any of you! In fact, the vast majority of RHA folks have been exemplary in this regard. There is one person specifically I am addressing my post to, but I don’t know if that person will acknowledge their lapse in etiquette or not, as Jackie has astutely noted Maybe I need to adjust my expectations, but I fear that will mean having to lower my own standards of etiquette!
Here’s a big thank you from me for all of your blog posts and posts on the forum/s over the years. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned from reading your posts. One of your most helpful tidbits is to use proven parents when starting out. I did just that last year and have a decent crop of first attempts and a few nice surprises (see my post ‘Beginner’s Luck’ on here). I’d love to come and visit you and your roses someday!
PS Never lower your etiquette standards. There’s too much of that going around already!
I probably have missed appropriate opportunities, too. For any of those, I hereby apologize. Yes, thank you to ALL who make this forum the tremendous asset it is…from the mechanics of creating and maintaining it to all participants who keep it lively and fun! Especially for the advanced knowledge, experience and discoveries shared here. I COULD probably find the information “out there”, but, being lazy, probably never would!
You’re welcome Jackie, and everyone! A very old “southern tradition” is to share your garden. The teaching is your plants grow much better when shared. Of course! You have to separate, thin or prune them to share them and that’s what’s needed to make them grow. How else can you make sure something survives unless you spread it around?
For wonderful knowledge and plants shared; camaraderie and friendship, thank you to all! I know “life” gets in the way of spending time playing here, but remember, when you are absent, you leave a hole and people worry. So, please remember to keep checking in so we know you’re OK. Thanks!
Paul, you (as well as Kim, and Joan M. and Bob B.) have been exceptionally generous, and I do not feel that I have adequately repaid you for your generosity. Having said that, I do hope you would feel comfortable PM-ing a finger-wagging directly to me were you to ever feel I deserved it! (I’m assuming I don’t, but heck, I have a free-floating guilt-trip thing going anyway, and finding something on which to anchor it…)
I (along with, I’m sure, many of us here) do feel indebted to you.
Thanks for all that you do – in sharing your experience, knowledge, and material – and know that you are greatly appreciated!
I’m really interested by the OP Rugosa #3 seedlings from the seed you sent, because they show considerable variation. Nightmoss is sprouting.
I am horrible at sending thank you notes. I weighs on my soul. I just got married and I have two outstanding thank you notes to send for nice unexpected gifts we received. As one of “those people” all I can ask is for patience and forgiveness towards people like me.
I am certainly graceful for all I have learned and recieved from you Paul and others. I do not think I would even have a little success without everyones kindness. I am thankful I am getting to the point I can begin helping others out.
I try to thank people for the things I recieve. Usually it is a couple days after I recieve it. Most of the pollen I have recieved has not worked due to young seed parents or results are slow to come. So I do not always have any results to reply on, but I do try to get back to the people I recieved it from to thank them.
The past year I did forget to thank someone how was particularly generous. I thought I thanked the person but it must of slipped my mind this fall with all the other things going on. A third party however emailed me that the person was disapointed they had not recieved a thank you. I felt really really bad. I hope I made ammends at least somewhat. I still feel bad when I think about it.
So if I have ever offended anyone else I am sorry. I did not mean to.
Paul did you see the L83 seedling I posted a couple weeks ago. This is from pollen i recieved from you. Now if the other one would bloom. I got a few more seedlings that I am waiting for blooms from pollen I have recieved from different people. Some of these are going on four year now. I do very few modern to modern crosses so very little blooms the first year.
Oh while we are on the subject Kim seed you sent me two year ago has finially started sprouting last week. The seed is Sunatn Beauty x ?. I actually took the seed out of the fridge to dry out so it would not sprout during the summer heat and during the drying process it started to sprout.
You are one of the most generous contributors to this forum, not only with your offers of pollen, plants, etc., but with your advice. You are one of the first to jump in when someone poses a problem and offer a workable solution. I have learned a lot over the years by reading your thoughtful responses. All of us do thank you for your contributions, and like some others, I too am not the quickest to say so. I think that this thread is a valuable lesson for all of us, not only with roses, but in life as well. Please keep doing what you are doing - we do appreciate it.
Gosh, what an outpouring of appreciation! Now I feel bad for posting what I thought was a simple reminder to be polite, and it has prompted a response that makes it seem as though I was fishing for attention! (I assure you, I was NOT! I was just feeling rankled after sending out several pollen donations recently and the recipient never acknowledged the receipt of them. I have since received an apology for his “breach of etiquette”)
I have to agree with the sentiments expressed above: this group of people is (usually!) a remarkably polite and appreciative lot, and the generosity shown here is a fine example of the spirit of sharing. I too have learned a great deal from all of you over the years and my work has been influenced by many. Thank you all.
Politeness, to me is saying thank you, calling someone older than myself Mr or Mrs Whatever until they say call me by my Christian name. On this forum I have addressed members by their surname and then asked if it is ok to call them by their Christian name. Politeness goes with another word named curtious(spelling). It is my belief that it is not hard to be polite and being so, friendship will follow. I am on the other side of the world and newish to this forum and the help from all the members here on questions asked have been given without rewards asked for in return, offered freely. Sharing comes to mind, which then has a thank you after it, that is my defention of polite.
I agree with your sentiments entirely, Paul. It only takes a moment to send a email to acknowledge receipt of a package and say thank you. I haven’t had to pester you for hips or cuttings but I do appreciate your generosity of knowledge shared.
I have pestered poor Kim several times, however, lol. And I am extremely grateful for his generosity and besides acknowledging receipt I always give credit to him when I post about seedlings that came from the hips he sent me. In a way I feel they still belong to him since he spent the time creating those seeds. I’m just the adoptive parent.
BTW, Kim, I stuck 12 of those Mutabilis cuttings you sent me and I think I have at least 4 rooting, yippee! Thank you! I gave away the rest to several people in my rose society but I haven’t heard back if anyone has had success with theirs.
I once gave cuttings to someone and after they received them, when I asked did one of the specific varietals included in the bunch survive and how it was going, I was simply ignored.
OK…lets just call it danged impolite!
Doesn’t bother me any more…it means they get no more goodies from me…ever.
We all know you were not “fishing for attention”, but making a gentle reminder that we should all remember to be appreciative, thankful and polite! I am going through the same drill with my grandchildren - I send them $ with birthday cards, etc, and typically receive not a thank you. I would like them to log on here and read this thread - will have to see if I can do that. Thanks again for giving this reminder. Hope we will all do better.
Now that I have gotten that load off my chest… as far as Paul B goes, he has not only given a lot of physical material away (shared is a better word here to describe the spirit of it), he has freely shared a whole bunch of very meaningful breeder knowledge also… as others have noted here.
Paul B, I know this thread is not an attention seeking one, but it is also a good place for me to say:
As a newbie I feel guilty for asking for cuttings and hips (even after they have been offered) because I do not have anything to share back; and I wonder could someone else use them more than I could. In the last month I have read several articles about being thankful and how it applies to our lives. I am trying to teach my children to be truly thankful for what they have and not just say the words out of habit. The words “thank you” are great to hear but a joyful heart is much better. To all those who have shipped material to me a heartfelt thank you.
Paul
Thanks for the reminder to be thankful it has been refreshing after a long day.
Maybe I need to adjust my expectations, but I fear that will mean having to lower my own standards of etiquette!